The other night I was watching the Empire Strikes Back. You know the part where Boba Fett says one of his few lines to Darth Vader, “he is worth a lot to me?” That line now really pisses me off because George Lucas thought it would be a brilliant idea re-do all of Boba Fett’s dialogue with that of Temuera Morrison. In short Boba Fett now has a New Zealand accent. I really hate it when someone bends over your favourite movie and fucks it.

Anyway, I would now like to catalogue all the ways George Lucas has fucked Star Wars for life.

The new movies episodes one two and three are badly written, badly acted and badly directed. They have so much computer animation that they look very fake. Jar Jar Binks needs to die. They seem to be written for kids and not adults. Many of the scenes are utterly ridiculous and completely unbelievable even if they do occur in the Star Wars universe.

Battle droids: This one counts for two. First, the great thing about the original Star Wars movies is that they did not reference popular culture. They attempted to create a new popular culture one for the Star Wars universe. In the new movies the battle droids engage in slapstick comedy. I am sorry, but the Marx brothers belong to our own universe not the Star Wars universe. Battle droids are also meant to be incredibly powerful and scary combat machines, it says so in all those Star Wars books I read. I do not find comedians scary even if they are made of metal and are armed.

Anakin Skywalker made C-3PO: What the fuck? Need I say more?

In the 1997 special edition Star Wars: A New Hope they modified the scene where and Greedo confronts Han Solo to make it so Greedo fires first.

At the end of Return of the Jedi they have inserted Hayden Christiansen instead of Sebastian Shaw who played the dying Anakin skywalker earlier in the film. They have also changed the music of this end scene.

In the 1999 Star Wars novel Vector Prime they killed Chewbacca. This event prompted me to sell my large collection of Star Wars books on eBay in protest.

I really don’t understand why or how George Lucas completely fucked up Star Wars. If you have any more fuck ups to add, I would love to see them in the comments.

You have no doubt heard about the war between the Tamil Tigers and the Sri Lankan government. According to recent reports the Tamil Tigers are all but defeated. Of course this war is taking a terrible toll on the ordinary Tamil population.

Recently, Tamils around the world have been calling for a ceasefire in northern Sri Lanka. Whenever I see these protests on the news there are people holding up a particular flag. Of course all protest groups have flags. A flag represents who you are. But have a close look at the flag of the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam.

There is a fierce tiger in the middle surrounded by a halo of what look like bullets above crossed rifles with bayonets attached. And if this wasn’t enough the background of the flag is red. Which just happens to be the colour of well…. you know.

What is an ordinary person, who knows nothing about the conflict, supposed to think when they see protesters waving a flag such as this? Do they immediately write to their local member and say: please tell the Prime Minister to support a ceasefire? Or instead do they think it is the cynical last gasp of a terrorist organisation? It is beyond ironic that people who wave of flag like this would ask for a ceasefire.

There are many Tamils who are suffering tremendously because of this war. If you want help from the international community you need to persuade them to your cause. A flag of such violent symbolism is not going to convince people that your cause is just.