Hating Hating!
Evil Pundit?s recent post “On the politics of hate” got me thinking about the issue of hatred and how pointless it is.
Evil Pundit isn?t really as nasty as his name would suggest. (I think he should change the name of his site to Evil Pundit of Love.) His feelings about hatred are similar to mine.
But what is so bad about hatred? The answer is simple hatred destroys the person doing the hating. Haters might answer with: if you stop hating you will let scum bags get away with murder. They say if you don?t hate Muslim extremists you will let them commit more atrocities.
This is simply not true, take this example from my own life. When someone says something incredibly intolerant or offensive to me. I tell them off to such an extent that they are scared to ever do it again. But, I don’t hate them, I don?t turn them into a life long enemy and get angry when I see them ten years later in my local shopping centre.
After I have an argument with someone I apologise even if they are in the wrong. 99% of the time they will apologise back. It?s even possible that I could become friends with them in the future.
In the case where they don?t apologise back and they begin to hate me. I don?t change I am still polite to them (at least to their face). The fact is that unsatisfied hatred is far more damaging to them than if I were to fight and hate back.
In the case where they stalk me and plan to kill me, I do what any other sane person would do call the cops. Not hating is not pacifism. If they broke into my house and tried to kill my family I would kill them if it were the only way to stop them. Even if they did all this I would still not hate them.
What is so bad about hating? The answer to this is also simple; hating is bad for you health. Hating can lead to depression and more serious medical problems. Hating is a form of stress and this can increase your blood pressure and heart rate. All these can reduce your life span significantly.
Time spent hating is time that could have been used loving (or making love).
April 8th, 2005 at 12:49 pm
Actually – I shouldn’t have said it can mean giving up on getting the justice you want – the act of arguing your point with someone and listening to them as well – being in dialog is so important for both sides – the point is to open up to the discussion in the first place.
Thanks for raising this topic, I’ve been thinking about it a lot since watching Hotel Rwanda and reading the latest Newint on ‘Occupied by Terror’ ( http://www.newint.org/ )
April 5th, 2005 at 8:43 pm
He’s not as smart as he’d have people believe either, Chris. In fact I can show you prime examples of his discriminatory, elitist attitudes, as wella s the fact that he’s a follower, not a leader.
Don’t be fooled. Garish shop-fronts are the norm for taudry brothels.
April 6th, 2005 at 11:43 am
I agree Chris. Hate is irrational. If you think there is justification for criticising someone by all means make your case, but hating someone for what they believe or what they have done probably isn’t going to solve any problems for you or anyone.
Just a hypothetical though, to play devil’s advocate a bit. Let’s say a terrorist attack wipes out your girlfriend and your immediate family, for no apparent or justifiable reason.
Is hate then justified? Or at least understandable under the circumstances?
April 6th, 2005 at 2:45 pm
I think hate probably is justified and understandable in this example, but would I hate? I hope not.
A sense of prospective would be needed in this situation. Instead of advocating revenge, you would need to make sure that this sort of thing never happens again.
A revenge terrorist attack may make you feel better, but this would be saying that the attack on your own family was justified; you’d be saying that terrorism is OK.
A hatred of all organisations that only use violence to achieve their aims would probably be the result. From my knowledge, no terrorist organisation has ever achieved their goal through violence alone.
I haven’t got time to go into the solution for terrorism, but I’ll give it a lot of thought.
April 8th, 2005 at 12:44 pm
Hi Chris, thanks for your thoughtful post. My thoughts are similar to yours – Hate is a defensive reaction and maybe a form of emotional repression. To hate is to feel helpless – unable to change something or someone. You are defensive and feel wronged but unable to fix the situation. A hateful person becomes consumed by the work of hating – it makes it hard to be happy and to feel positive. It creates insecurity because you feel out of control. There is also an ongoing conflict that takes place within – an internal dialog of trying to justify and resolve the anger you feel which also leads to guilt. A hate crime and hate expressed is a way to try and get the control back but it rarely works. Even if you were to destroy the object of your hate you would still be left with the guilt and internal struggle – the justice you never really received.
To let go of hate and move forward to reconcialliation is proactive and a great release – it restores your inner emotional peace and is the only way to get rid of hate. This takes a lot of strength as it can meen giving up on getting your justice for the wrong you feel – it means taking a step down and a denial of your own self importance.
here ends my sermon!